Issue No # 1 Get The Latest Dirt Here as It Happens 

DANNY THE MONKEY BOY

Danny reveal's secret past where he worked as Michael Jackson's monkey bubbles. Danny was quoted to say "Jacko never touched me in a funny way though"

Danny and Jacko in the early days

CARSON FOR WORLD PEACE

Carson is holding a three day vigil in bed with 15 swedish glamour models to promote world peace. Carson was quoted to say "it's not just so I can have a fiddle with em!! honestly!!"

DANNY'S NOT A FOOL

After hearing allegations that our own Danny Dirt is a half witted knob Danny made a public announcement last night to say "errr!! well!! urm!! wow man it's like this!! yeah!! buzzing!!". A spokesman for the band added "We who are Dirt hope that Danny's statement quashes the rumors about Danny being a halfwit once and for all"

The Dirt Angels Are Coming - Thursday 16th June

We who are Dirt would like to make a Public Warning. On Thursday 16th of June THE DIRT SHOW is hitting the V-Bar in leek featuring the Dirt Angels Lap Dancing show. A spokes man from Dirt has stated "It's gonna be a sleaze rock extravaganza, but we do have concerns about controlling the MLR. We are currently pouring ice water on him to keep him sedated but we are not sure how long the sedation will last" More news to follow as it explodes in your face.

The Dirt Engine Fires Up - Thursday 12 th May

The Mighty Dirt Engine Fired up for the First time in the Lion & Bell Public house in Congleton. The songs were all well received and playing to a full house with a great atmosphere was a buzz. Thanks to all who came down especially Sugar Lust the headlining band for their help. Click Here To See Pics

DANNY NEW FILM ROLE

Hollywood is buzzing with rumors of a new porno film version of the Hobbit being made. Our very own Danny Dirt has been offered the staring role of Dildo Baggins. Danny's role would be a challenging role playing a 4 foot tall cock but we think he should breeze it.

DIRT TO RECORD IN THE ANTARCTIC

During a recent drinking session Danny Dirt announced that a recording studio is not the right place for Dirt to record their new chart topping album. So the band have decided to evict a polar bear from his cave so they can record in the Antarctic. Hopefully we will be taking the Dirt Angels with us to keep the MLR's fingers warm!

WHO'S A PRETTY BOY THEN?

The MLR has been spotted looking at himself in shop windows on a recent pub crawl in downtown Dirt city

OZZY WARNS THE MLR

Ozzy Osbourne had a public outburst last night after hearing rumors that Dirt were playing on the same bill as Black Sabbath at this years Download festival. Ozzy was reported to say "If Dirt come and blow Black Sabbath of the stage I'll bite the head of the MLR". The Mighty Love Rocket made a public statement shortly after Ozzy's outburst to say "We who are Dirt have too much respect for Ozzy and Sabbath to blow them off stage, so I am just going to make a public appearance at the festival bar tent instead"

STEVO WHAT A STICK

During a recent dirt gig Stevo broke all his drum sticks and was forced to play the rest of the gig with his penis. Stevo is reported to be fine but his drum kit is well fucked!!

MARV SAVES THE DAY

Marv saved the day by putting his finger in a Dutch dyke to stop a flood. Her girlfriend is reported to be furious.

VISCIOUS ATTACK

The MLR had a close escape over the weekend when the pubs puppy dog bit his finger while feeding it a biscuit. A spokesman for the band said "we acted quickly and put a plaster on it". He also said "Although the MLR uses this finger for playing and other not so wholesome activities this should not affect the current world tour".

On Page 3

STEVO TO RULE CUBA

There has been allot of rumors recently speculating that Stevo was planning to overthrow Vidal Castro and take over Cuba. There is no truth to this story he just rolled his big brown cigar on a Cuban virgins thigh.